Packing and Unpacking

Levera Beach stretches before us in a large wide curve, but we can’t see it in the darkness. It is ten o’clock at night. We follow the guide’s red flashlight over uneven sand and clumps of seaweed. The waves sound large crashing to our right. Up ahead, a leatherback turtle is digging a two-foot, four-inch hole in the sand to lay her eggs. It is Mother’s Day, and I am thinking about what we bring and what we leave.

At the northern end of Grenada where we stand, Levera beach curves around the 450-acre Levera National Park. Our evening there started earlier with a visit to the pond and mangrove wetlands, which cover most of the national park. We climbed into the observation tower and watched tarpon rising in the pond. They are heavy-jawed, silver fish the size of a third-grader and make big splashes. In the past few weeks, Sam had two opportunities to wrestle these fish on sturdy hooks, thanks to an avid fisherman and good friend here.

Around the pond, red mangrove trees reach their leggy stalks into the clear, tannic water. Andrew pointed out their seeds, which begin sprouting while still held on the parent tree. When they drop into the water, they have a headstart—roots and a shoot—and grow readily. Like all wetlands, they filter water and protect shorelines and harbor many species. Andrew had been studying and birdwatching in these habitats for months.

We left the mangroves and pond for a Levera Beach picnic. Surprisingly, our kids consented to eat peanut butter and jelly/nutella sandwiches yet again. When we arrived at the beach, we recognized the view of Sugar Loaf Island. It is a favorite subject of local artist Doliver Moraine.

Before visiting Levera Pond, we had visited Doliver at his studio, which sits along a dirt road, surrounded by his sculptures and paintings on plywood. He welcomed us, especially since Andrew had visited him on a hike the week before. We chatted about Doliver’s work and how he sells it at galleries in town, how Maurice Bishop who was a nice guy and gave long speeches without notes, and how the government built him a new little house since his old one was rocking on its stilts. When not chatting, Doliver paints. He paints Grenadian scenes and fish and people in his signature style, capturing movement and character in few brush strokes.

He does portraits, often many portraits of the same person, such as Maurice Bishop. We added one of his Bishop portraits to our collection, and also his version of Mona Lisa, which seemed both un-Grenadian and completely Grenadian, and either way I could not stop looking at her because her expression was inscrutable and maybe she was derived from Leonardo da Vinci or maybe I saw her on the bus yesterday.

So we sat down for our beach picnic with our minds full of mangroves and art. We sat at the same picnic table where we would later wait two hours in the dark, salty wind for turtles to arrive on the beach.

Which is where we are sitting when the news of a turtle’s arrival comes from researchers up the beach. We dutifully stay behind the guide on our way up the beach towards the red flashlights that seem very far away. We are rewarded long before we reach the red flashlights. The guide stops and throws back his arms. He has spotted something unexpected: the tracks of newly hatched turtles across the sand.

Helpless, we coo in delight when he finds one baby doing its lift-flops across the soft sand. It seems impossibly tiny. It flaps and flaps, going faster when the sand becomes wet and smooth. Then the ocean reaches out and takes it.

We bobble down the beach with each footfall landing at different heights in the sand, walking even more cautiously behind the guide now that we know baby turtles could be crossing. Later, the researchers will scan the area and retrieve struggling baby turtles. They will hold them only temporarily and release them on the sand, though, so they imprint on this beach and begin their journey properly. And so they know where to return.

Leatherback sea turtles return to lay their eggs on the same beach where they hatched. They are the largest turtles on the planet, weighing 500 to 1500 pounds. When we finally approach the female leatherback on the beach, she looks like a boulder. Her size is an astonishing contrast to the wee hatchling.

She is using her hind flippers to dig a hole two feet, four inches deep. Then she lays her round, glistening eggs. I can hear her grunt-breaths as she lays the eggs. The research crew reaches below her hind flippers to remove the eggs into a bucket. They will immediately relocate them up the beach where they’re less likely to wash away than the unstable site she happened to choose. These turtles are endangered; we can’t risk more loss of turtles than what happens when they drown in fishing equipment or lose access to crucial nesting beaches.

The leatherback covers the hole with impressive dedication anyway. She will likely return in a week or so to lay more eggs, and could lay several nests of eggs this season. Then she will migrate—often 10,000 miles—foraging far into the northern hemisphere. Her diet will consist mostly of jellyfish, with mouthparts designed to consume gelatinous prey.

Now, her hind flippers scoop over sand, then pat it firm. When she pounds her flippers down, and they sweep back the sand, you can feel the vibration under your feet. We watch, enraptured. She goes around and around the area. Thick tears pour from her eyes, flushing out excess salt and sand.

Finally, she mimics the hatchling’s locomotion—lift, flop—but slow and lumbering until the waves crash over her. She disappears from the island. Just as we are about to do.

We are leaving in a few days. Unlike the leatherbacks, I do not know if we’ve left anything behind that could hatch into something beautiful. I do know that this island has imprinted upon us. I will feel an instinct to return.

For now, we are packing in the final visits to snorkel the Hog Island reef and to swim in a cold jungle waterfall. Stella’s neighbor friend will join us on both adventures, as she joined us on our adventure to Levera. And to Grand Etang. And Mt. Qua Qua. She is imprinted on our hearts, too.

In the last day, we will pack our actual bags. We will roll up Doliver’s paintings and nestle them among our often-worn T-shirts and carefully selected seashells. What we will bring most importantly, are stories and images. We will carry home questions about what it means to be a person in this world of differing worlds. We will wonder how to live fully and gently, while protecting what needs protected. Thick tears will pour from my eyes as I tamp down our experience, preparing to leave.

We will have attachments to mangrove swamps wrapping around tea-brown ponds. And reefs full of fish we never could have imagined but somehow live there. And boulder-sized turtles who heave themselves onto the familiar, yet little-known territory of beaches to leave something of themselves for the future.

If we have kept our eyes and hearts open, we will arrive home and have some struggle in making sense of home anymore. There will be questions with no answers. We have had such privilege in being guests on this island of beauty and contrasts. We will carry our privilege back into our lives at home in upstate New York with a lifelong opportunity to try to understand what it all means.

For the four of us, there will always be a time before Grenada and a time after Grenada. We are so excited to come home. We will be unpacking for a long time.

A Boat Called Feelings

A Grenadian woman walking to work keeps herself together. She seems fully aware of her surroundings, but not distracted by them. Each foot steps with intention; this is not meditative but necessary on the road-edge terrain. She is not walking loosely like I am with my arms swinging and my long strides in my airy skirt and sneakers. This woman does not waste movements; she is keeping everything together.

Her work requires a professional look. Her blouse buttoned up and her skirt snugging her hips. It is a miracle to me, her steadiness in those fine shoes. This woman is not in a rush, but she moves right along. She holds her space on that road. The buses honk but move out of her way.

I am thinking of her on my walk to St. George’s in the intermittent light rain and morning coolness. I have cut through the Eric Gairy Botanical Gardens. Perched in a large pavilion, I watch pedestrians climb the hill to the Ministerial buildings—the Ministry of Education, Immigration Office, Cabinet. When the rain crescendos to a brief downpour, the Grenadians pop up their umbrellas without breaking stride.

The end of January is nearly the dry season, and I wonder if the rains will stop entirely for a few months. I have been loving the way you can hear them building. They cut the heat. They rinse the air. All of the colors seem brighter when the sky clears.

This island is fully saturated in color. If color were audible, it would be full volume with a complex range of notes and chords. A visual concert. Back home at this time of year, the world is gray and brown and white. I crave color, so in winter I dabble with paints or knit with bright yarns. Here, I am content with words on a page to balance the world outside. Here, the world outside is a feast.

As this rain tapers, I scrutinize the large tree near the pavilion. My first impression is pine tree, but I realize its long needles are segmented, reminding me of plants called horsetail (Equisetum). Its little cones are actually knobby balls. At its base, the trunk looks like the tendons in a person’s neck, straining. When I am in a new place, everything is a wonder or a mystery, or both.

I look up the tree and learn that it is not from here. It’s an Australian pine (Casuarina Equisetifolia—I see how it got its species name), which is not really a pine tree nor is it from here. In some places, especially the southern U.S., the Australian pine is considered a weed. It was introduced far beyond its native range because it can stabilize soil, fixes nitrogen, and makes good lumber. This not-pine tree has its own story.

When I am in a new place, my impressions are just the surface. My observations catalog so much of what I see and so little of what is actually there. As a human being, all of my judgements are colored by the things I already assume to be true.

Although I am watching closely, I do not know the Grenadian woman on her way to work. Or if she is actually going to work. Or what all she carries or how she keeps it together enough to walk up the road. She is a wonder and a mystery, just like everyone.

Christ of the Deep does not always hold festive flags, but he does right now.
What is this plant with the drama flowers?
Lesser Antillean Bullfinch
Australian not-pine
This guy was really good on stilts.
Along The Carenage

What We’re Up To Now…

Eight years ago, we bought a run-down, 53-acre farm and have devoted ourselves to fixing it up. I documented the first several years of this endeavor in this blog before the endeavoring itself subsumed the blogging. Now I’m returning to this site to chronicle our upcoming adventure: A sabbatical semester.

Our kids are now thirteen and eleven, and we decided to pursue this long-held idea of spending time in another country. Like owning a farm, this idea once seemed unattainable but has now become a real thing we’re doing. In early January, the four of us will fly to the Caribbean and live there until May. Andrew will be on sabbatical as a visiting professor. The kids will attend local schools. I will live in the ocean, emerging sometimes to write.

Right now, I’m facing our woodstove in the living room with snowsuits and gloves heaped beside it. To our delight, it snowed enough already for sledding, snowshoeing, and an epic snowfort. My enormous cat drools on my lap while I skim a Rolling Stone article about the best eco-friendly sunscreens, trying to make mental calculations: Multiply the value of coral reefs by my guilt in contributing to their demise and subtract the $20 tube of mineral paste our kids will probably refuse to apply on their bodies, plus the cost of replacing it with their preferred regular spray-on sunscreen purchased on the island of Grenada.

By way of a guidebook introduction, Grenada (kind of rhymes with cicada) is a volcanic island where they grow nutmeg, bananas, cocoa, and mostly tourism. White sand beaches adorn the shoreline. Coral reefs teeming with marine life and an underwater sculpture park offer prime snorkeling. Interior mountains are covered with forests and waterfalls. Grenada’s national football (soccer) team is nicknamed The Spice Boys, and the national dish is a one-pot meal called oil down, featuring coconut milk, breadfruit, and salty meat.

Most of Grenada—population ~120,000—speaks English, with several dialects. Their history includes a familiar story of indigenous inhabitants who, despite their resistance, were obliterated by Europeans who then abducted ships full of African people to enslave for their plantations. The late 20th century included a people’s revolution ending in tragedy and an invasion by United States military forces. In the current democracy, Grenada runs under a parliament and prime minister. The government schools, which our kids will attend, have a British-style system, complete with a headmaster and uniforms.

We have rented a little house in the capital, St. George’s—a small city of about 35,000, which is almost ten times bigger than our upstate NY town. From the house, it’ll be about a 15-minute walk to each of the kids’ schools and the beach. Andrew will take a short bus ride to St. George’s University, where he’ll teach in the Department of Biology, Ecology and Conservation. Basically, we have no idea what we’re getting into, but I’ll try to write about it here.